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Friday 5th Apr 1974

requested by R. Maxwell of Farnham

with the Reverend Daniel O'Shelves
the Reverend Daniel o'Shelves

"Do shit-heads go out and get piss-faced?"

Fury Over "Bulimic Ready-Meals"

16.11.03 05:06:33 GMT Reporter: Mädchen Dunn

Swiss food giant Nestlé has attracted widespread criticism over a controversial new range of pre-prepared meals - aimed specifically at bulimics.

The company launched its new line of "pre-digested" snacks at this week's food industry NoshCon™ event in Malawi.

Demonstrating the new products to a mildly bemused gaggle of food industry fat cats, a Nestlé representative showed how they were designed to be opened, prepared and thrown down the toilet in less than three minutes - completely cutting out the time-consuming consumption and regurgitation phases which bulimia nervosa has hitherto necessitated.

Cistern addict:
A bulimic, yesterday
Speaking earlier today, Nestlé marketing director Dick Lovechild told us that the rising popularity of eating disorders had created the market for such a product and that his company was simply seeking to cater for this demand.

"According to a recent survey, over 20% of teenage girls in the UK either currently suffer from an eating disorder or intend to develop one in the next six to eight months" he explained.

"If a market leading business such as our own wishes to retain its dominant position in the convenience food sector, it simply cannot afford to ignore such a large potential consumer base. These people could soon be our biggest customers."

"Though not literally, of course!" he quipped.

Asked whether such products were not, nonetheless, exploitative of people with eating disorders, Mr. Lovechild gave a vigorous denial, saying that the new ready-meals would allow bulimics to "spend less time with their heads down the toilet and more time seeking help with their condition".

Meanwhile, industry experts are already predicting more potential trouble for the company.

Having begun marketing a product which is essentially freeze-dried vomit in a pot, many believe that it is only a matter of time before Golden Wonder's lawyers begin to take an interest.


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