'Ey-up! You know, when I'm not sitting on the Wealdstone Regeneration Steering Group or lurking furtively around the "preposterous" section at SpecSaver, I love nothing more than using my mouth. To talk, that is!

Now, thanks to modern electrics, you too can say exactly what you think - whether or not you have a mouth of your own - via this delicious log.

No asylum seekers, mind!

Don't touch what you can't afford
...insists Conservative Harrow Councillor
Eileen Kinnear.